My Heart Blooms Flowers of Hope

Petals closed tight.

When will I see the light?

I am not sure when it all began.

Fire bell rings, siren screams.

Call after call, I see it all. Soot on my skin,

 cracks in my heart. Numbness sets in.

Years slip by; it is an ordinary, chaotic day.

I am at peace in chaos. It is where I want to be.

It is my norm.

The world spins around, and I feel a frown.

Nightmares are constant invaders in the night.

I hide from them like a night watchman.

My heart can’t take the cries in the night, shards of glass, metal scattered, a twisted car.

Carry me away to another day, floating in a sea of pain.

We are zombies in the mist.

to find rest or zest.

No blooms this year, just tears and darkness.

Until….

One day, the scales in my eyes peel free, shackles break away.

I feel raw and can see beyond the shield of pain, the real me.

Each step and turn of the journey.

I found peace and released my fear.

Cries in the night turned into a deep slumber.

Cracks in my heart bloom flowers of hope

Life keeps up with time.

Make your ripple, build your castle.

On a spring day, birds sing free, free, free, you are free to live your life.

Gratitude.

Glacier National Park

My Numb Heart

 My numb heart thaws like a frozen lake

An eternity of grief trapped in frozen bubbles trying to escape the deep turquoise waters.

Suspended in a locket.

There was a time you were mine.

My valentine.

Paper hearts.

A book of poetry, like a guitar in tune

You sent me to the moon.

We laughed and danced.

 We cried when we parted, like losing a favorite melody.

A sunless sky with no stars.

Reaching for your hand in the dark.

When will we dance again?

My hope floats on top of the sea.

I am on my knees praying in the sand of tides, until I am in your arms again.

Abraham Lake, Canada

Red Leaves of Grief

Umbrella of grief floats in the wind. 

Chanting monks run with deer through ancient sacred cedar forests. 

Crimson maple leaves swirl in the wind around the sherbet orange pagoda. 

It starts to rain, waking the still water and the longing in my heart. 

I walked across the bridge of doubt, leaving behind old beliefs. 

Beetles buzz around the velvet slumbering green trees and cherry blossom buds. 

The forests reach for my hand and embrace my broken heart. 

Swans glide near the glistening shore, perfecting their ballet with Mt. Fuji in the balcony, peeking from behind curtains of purple clouds. 

At the final call, orange and red trees sway in the wind and bid Mt. Fuji goodnight. 

Crimson covers the beating earth as a Samurai dressed in black walks back in time. 

I climbed many stairs and mountains on my healing journey. 

Waterfalls in the deep canyon console the weeping walls of grief. 

I reach for my inner child’s hand and whisper, We made it to the healing falls.

Our hearts are free to roam with prancing deer.

We smile and think about the long journey. 

A yellow blooming flower, bright as the sun, erupts from the earth and covers our eyes with satin petals of joy and “bliss.”